You Park Like A Cunt.com

Here’s Joe again telling us “This chap has parked...

Sat, 19 May 2012 18:25:30 +0100

Here’s Joe again telling us “This chap has parked quite tidily it seems, slightly over the kerb but that’s a minor infringment when you realise that this cunt is parked totally blocking my poor elderly neighbour’s driveway. The cunt stain does this regularly and has blocked most drives in our cul-de-sac, and for a while as well. If only there was a word that adequalty described this chap, ah, there is…CUNT!”

Pelt his car with faeces, or perhaps leave him a note first warning him of the shit coming his way if he does it again. There’s no easy way to teach a serial cunt.

We can almost imagine the buzz of excitement in the...

Sat, 19 May 2012 17:32:26 +0100

We can almost imagine the buzz of excitement in the driver’s seat of this 4x4 as they spotted two empty disabled spaces. How fucking dare they? What a massive, massive cunt. Doggy-dos for the door handles on this one, we think. We shall be lobbying for dog-waste bins to be put in strategics points in car parks from now on.

How about some flyers for us to stick under their windscreens to let them know they've been featured on yplac

Fri, 18 May 2012 21:51:28 +0100

In the pipeline, we promise. Just need to find time (we have days jobs too, sadly). :-) we’ll do stickers, ticket pads and there even talk of something bigger in the pipeline. Mum’s the word on that for the moment though.

“In a work carpark that fills to capacity daily meaning...

Fri, 18 May 2012 21:14:46 +0100

“In a work carpark that fills to capacity daily meaning staff have to park on the street, we find this example of ankle parking. Why ankle? Because it’s lower than a cunt.”

An interesting concept…

Our chum Joe sent us this pair of shits. He tells us that he...

Fri, 18 May 2012 20:54:00 +0100

Our chum Joe sent us this pair of shits. He tells us that he “was sent this picture by a bloke at work, it’s actually his brother parked here, (and in the left of the picture). Just to the right of his car is a junction and as you can see in front of his car he has kindly left half a parking space, I am told he was called a cunt!

He really goes to town with the explanation for the second picture though. Hold onto your hats…

“Fucking cunt! How hard can it be?”

Well, our breath was taken away.

Cunt parks like cunt. Gets angry when others get angry

Fri, 18 May 2012 18:46:43 +0100

Cunt parks like cunt. Gets angry when others get angry:

This is a classic cunt. Someone who, rather than apologise and accept his cunty status, decides to play the victim and argue the toss. What a fucking shitstain.

“Oh how we laughed. I cant work out how...

Fri, 18 May 2012 17:09:12 +0100

“Oh how we laughed. I cant work out how they perceived these parking bays.”

Too right. The parking is cuntish, but the invisible cunt in this picture is the one who designed this car park. What the fuck?! It’s perfectly designed to breed and nurture cuntishness on an epic scale.

[Sorry, for the repost, had a problem with the last one. Should...

Fri, 18 May 2012 16:03:42 +0100

[Sorry, for the repost, had a problem with the last one. Should be fixed now]

Here’s a wonderful queue-jumping King of Cunts. Read on and marvel!

Our submitter tells us “there were 3 ‘reserved’ parking spots at work not being used due to various managers leaving and they’d been used by anyone who wants them, on a first come, first served basis.
After months of badgering by this car’s cock of an owner to abolish the reserved bays, management instead agreed to reassign these spots to staff at a lower level to those who had them previously. The owner of this car is one of the four staff at that level. The sniff of a named bay and he quickly changed his tune and stopped wanting them removed.

4 people, 3 spots. Not tricky maths, one person was going to be unlucky.
Names were placed in a envelope, one person was to be drawn out and they would be the unlucky one.
Guess whose name was drawn?
He reckons it was fixed and is now protesting not winning one of the reserved bays by parking in the disabled bay, regardless of not having a disabled badge.

He’s been asked by the girl on reception if he’d move it to one of the other empty spaces and refused. He’s also refused repeated requests from management to move it and is spoiling for a fight, saying they’ll have to move him from his seat to make him move it (at which point he’ll no doubt scream assault).

Utter, utter cock.

(Oh, just to paint an even better picture of what a cock he is; that spoiler? It wasn’t on the car when he bought it, he bought it and added it himself, the twat)

(also, what’s particularly funny is that the other three people don’t give a shit about having a reserved space, which is just winding him up even more)”

Haha, this is probably the best story we’ve ever had on this site. This person is officially YPLAC’s Man of 2012 (even though there’s still 7 months of it left). No-one could possibly be more of a cunt.

“It took them 10 mins to get it like that....

Fri, 18 May 2012 13:33:40 +0100

“It took them 10 mins to get it like that. lol”

We’re not lolling. We’re only wondering what it looked like after the 1st minute. God delivery us from these cunts.

“This amazing parking was just lazy...

Fri, 18 May 2012 10:18:25 +0100

“This amazing parking was just lazy and arrogant.”

You forgot the much needed adjective “cuntish” from your list.

If you follow us on Twitter, you’ll realise recognise this...

Fri, 18 May 2012 09:10:56 +0100

If you follow us on Twitter, you’ll realise recognise this cunt as we’ve documented his parking at YPLAC towers over the past few days. Today being Friday he notched up his 4th cuntish act in 5 days. A shameful record for this site. We truly have a master cuntsman at work here. We left an unfriendly note in the hope that it will inspire them to sort their act out.

Here’s a prime example of a place which a cunt feels is a...

Fri, 18 May 2012 06:52:51 +0100

Here’s a prime example of a place which a cunt feels is a bona fide parking space and which everyone else feels is a hatched area that they wouldn’t dream of parking in. So who’s right. Well, apparently, this absolute cunt’s actions caused chaos on this car park. Why? It was the weekend before Christmas. Merry cunting Christmas.

Tony sends us this one saying “well, parking outside this...

Fri, 18 May 2012 03:27:02 +0100

Tony sends us this one saying “well, parking outside this social club appears not to be very social. One of the rules of being a member is that you have to park like a cunt. Especially if you are driving a baked bean can with three wheels. Maybe its front single wheel is jealous of the two yellow lines?!”

If you owned one of these dreadful machines, you’d think it’s impossible to attract even more attention. But now you’re on this website, so well done, you cunt.

Krizstian sends us this picture of a master bellend from the...

Thu, 17 May 2012 20:36:09 +0100

Krizstian sends us this picture of a master bellend from the Sainsbury’s car park in Beaconsfield. Cunt in a 4x4 is happy just to “swing it in” and leave it. Had they given someone other than themselves a grain of thought, they might have straightend up or, better still, reversed into the space (easier to get it straight first time). But they’re a cunt, so they don’t.

“Not only was this at school time! Not only on the zig...

Thu, 17 May 2012 17:04:09 +0100

“Not only was this at school time! Not only on the zig zags! Not only outside the main school gates! This cunt was so far on the pavement that even pushchairs couldn’t get past! What a cunt.”

Double yellows, on a corner, next to a school sign, opposite a...

Thu, 17 May 2012 13:24:42 +0100

Double yellows, on a corner, next to a school sign, opposite a junction. This BMW cunt just doesn’t know when to give up. Thank fuck they didn’t bring their caravan with them, that’s all we can say.

We took this one yesterday and just linked it straight to...

Thu, 17 May 2012 12:25:48 +0100

We took this one yesterday and just linked it straight to Twitter but we think it’s worth explaining a bit.
Firstly, it’s a cunt parking illegally next to a dropped kerb with tactile pavement. The fat cunt mother and her poor daughter were seen waddling over the road to M&S (MUST have been an emergency then).
As I took the picture a bloke whizzed up in his soft top sportscar and started to say something. “Uh oh, I thought. I’ve been busted. Best take it like a man. But the guy just said “well done, mate, I fucking hate people who do that”. I didn’t have time to tell him about the website, sadly. Think I’ll need to make some business cards.

It's all kicking off in Wincanton

Thu, 17 May 2012 10:52:18 +0100

It's all kicking off in Wincanton:

Flat-bed truck parks like cunt. Annoys local mothers. Hell hath no fury like a Wincanton mother scorned. Read on…

Sorry for the deluge of posts this morning.

Russians taking it to the next level

Thu, 17 May 2012 10:45:46 +0100

Russians taking it to the next level:

No it’s not that mayor driving tanks over cars in his neighbourhood. This is some whizzy app which does all sorts of things to reducing Parking Cuntskis in Mother Russia. We’re not sure that this sort of thing would be legal in this country because of the numberplate issue. We’re not even sure of the legality of our own posts but we’ve not had any complaints yet. Fingers crossed this will continue. Enjoy!

“It’s so difficult parking these big cars. It was...

Thu, 17 May 2012 10:17:25 +0100

“It’s so difficult parking these big cars. It was parked like that for at least 2hrs.”

Quite right! And when they make these parking spaces so super-small, car park owners are just encouraging this sort of vigilante behaviour.

Anyone who fancies a bit of Barry Justice is more than welcome to park in space 52 right up next to Blue Mini Cunt’s driver’s side door. Just be sure to take a picture of anything like this and send it to us.