"My cunt of a neighbour drives the yellow car he has at least 5ft the other side as its open space. I however have to get my2yr old out of a 1ft gap."
Smear the contents of your daughter’s nappy all over their windshield.
"Utter fuckwittery in Manchester. Thanks to members of Prestwich lawn bowls. Utter cunts."
People who park like this can have no cause to complain when their cars are vandalised.
"This road runs alongside a hospital and that little building is where the staff have to clock in. The cars on the right aren’t turning right, we’re all turning left… but we can’t use the left lane because it’s being used as a car park. The two drivers are standing just out of picture having a smoke whilst they wait for the office to open (still another five minutes away). It’s okay though; they’ve got their hazards on.
What really gets me is that the (empty and free) hospital car park is just 20 seconds walk - literally just over the road. Yet every morning and every afternoon there are cars ‘parked’ right here.”
What the fuck have we just read? Is this really a ‘thing’?
"A trio of cunts in one shot, one the Mazda in the front wasn’t bad enough, lets throw in the Honda to the left and Citroen on the right. A true honey-hole gathering of the now commonly known “cuntius parkingius”"
"Saw this clackdish,parked in Tesco, Loudwater. What a cunter!"
What on earth is a “clackdish”?? We love it but we don’t know why…
"Classic bit of parking cuntery on a busy Dorset rd! Obviously too busy and important to park his heap of crap properly! Cunty cunt cunt"
There were go…”parked”.
"London SE19 - home to Wimbledon tennis, strawberries & cream and some of the cuntiest drivers known to mankind. Look at this unbelievable bit of parking - the owner of the house had carefully marked out three spaces on his lawn (next to the Jaguar). This cunt decided to straddle both the other spaces forcing me to go and find alternative parking even though I’d already paid for a space. I hope he choked on his Pimms. 10/10 on the Cuntometer for his/her efforts."
Before reading this we presumed we were looking at the twat who’d dumped his car in the shrubbery.
"This cunt parked his very nice car outside DW Fitness in Poole…"
It is a lovely car. We’d park it in the quietest (brightly-lit) corner of the car park within the lines. Doesn’t matter if it’s a lovely car, don’t park it like a cunt using the “dings” defence.
"Look at this cuntwagon, the pavement, a motorbike bay and a disabled bay all in one hit."
The entitlement of these utter pricks never fails to astound us.
"The yellow Lambo is apparently parked. Knightsbridge NCP."
Something about the doors? And having a tiny penis?